What the Butterflies have Taught Me

Once the Stay At Home order was put in to place, I got to work. I decided that if I was going to be home around the clock with my kids, leading them through school, and keeping them entertained during a typical Chicago spring, then I was going to need some reinforcements. And you know what that means? I’ll give you a hint. One word. Amazon. Do you remember when Prime meant two days? Gosh were we spoiled!

Even though we have more than enough toys and games to play with, my nine and half years of parenting experiences has also taught me that nothing stirs excitement and curiosity like something new. We ended up with a variety of puzzles, games, sketch pads, and even some cups for STEM building, but it was my very last purchase that has proved to spark some pondering and reflection of the last six weeks.

I ordered a butterfly kit that came with live Caterpillars. Besides all four of our kids being mesmerized by each stage of the process over the last six weeks, I too have unexpectedly found myself enthralled and learning quite a bit about life in our current state. Nothing like good old Mother Nature for a life lesson!

Just the Essentials

When our kit arrived, I couldn’t believe how small these things were. In my mind, when I picture a caterpillar, I envision these beefy, fuzzy things inching around. But when our 10 caterpillars arrived, they were surprisingly tiny. They came in sealed cups that were vented at the top so that they could breathe. And, at the bottom of the cup were the nutrients they needed to eat before cocooning. I was really quite skeptical about the whole thing as it did not look at all appetizing, but, nonetheless, there they were, safe with food and shelter, ready to just do their thing. 

Now, nothing about this part of getting the caterpillars or setting them up in our kitchen sparked any kind of joy, awe, or wonder for me or for my kids. It was more of just a novelty at this point, like, “oh look, we have caterpillars…yay.” And everyone just kind of went about their business. I was a little bummed that they weren’t all completely stoked about this and prematurely admitted defeat in my mind as a mom fail.

Looking back, I can’t help but laugh at the irony. “There they were, safe with food and shelter, ready to just do their thing.” Can we just for one minute remind ourselves that sometimes the little things are the big things? Safety. Food. Shelter. How many of us have that? And how many of us were reminded or needed to be reminded that those things are the big things? Even if we had only those things, we’d have everything we’d need. But, in our modern age, we have way more than that!

Growth

Over the next few days, I’d occasionally catch Jordan or one of the kids with their faces pressed up to the cup to see if anyone was moving in there, or if anything was happening. At first, it seemed like nothing was really going on at all. Our oldest was convinced they were “dud caterpillars” and that we wouldn’t get any butterflies. But as the days turned in to a week, I looked at the cup and did a double take. I called (that sounds so sweet and very June Cleaver of me, but I am sure I probably just yelled!) for everyone to join me in the kitchen. These things were HUGE! Unnoticeable at first, these little critters were merrily eating themselves silly and were growing.

Here they were trapped in a plastic cup with nowhere to go, and the only choice these little things had was to grow! So if their only choice was to grow, then what makes you think that this time confined at home is for anything other than that for us? We need to constantly be aware of what are we fueling our minds, our bodies, and our time with. These caterpillars are growing in the confines of a plastic cup, with what looks to be some kind of artificially made sustenance. Not the way nature intended it, but nevertheless, they persisted. How are you persisting? Within the confines of your home, how are you persevering? How are you growing within the space and in the means you have been given?  

Cocoon

Then one day, it was just time. It was like a bell rang, all ten of these caterpillars knew it was time to migrate up the cup to just hang. We all watched as the caterpillars squinched (that’s the technical term, right?) their way to the lid to hang and make their cocoon. It was so very bizarre and so oddly fascinating.

We are a generation of movers and shakers. And in most ways, we have been asked to retreat from the stressful conditions of public life into the cozy, private world of our homes and families. For me, as scary and uncertain as it all felt, it also gave me a sense of peace and comfort. I knew where we were, where we needed to be, and I made peace with it. A bell rang, and it was just time. And we did what we were supposed to do.

Something that I think we can all agree on is this: During this time we really do need to continue to protect ourselves. We need to take time for ourselves. We need to establish routines of self-care. For some us with a house full of kids and spouse, it’s time alone. Time to think, to breathe, to relax, to process in solitude. For others who are alone, it might mean surrounding yourself with people virtually –as you cocoon yourself with others by finding connection and comfort.

Breakthrough

Our booklet told us that 7-10 days after the chrysalis formed that the butterflies would emerge. They were spot on. We missed the first one. We went to bed with 10 cocoons and woke up with 9 cocoons and one butterfly. The kids were STOKED. And slowly, the next day, we caught the butterflies emerging slowly, one by one. 

Unless you’ve done this before, you might not know that the butterfly’s wings are very fragile at first. They are small and wet and take about three hours to harden so that they can fly. It’s a slow and delicate process. Additionally, the butterflies expel a red liquid called meconium. Meconium is the leftover part of the caterpillar that was not needed to make the butterfly and is stored in the intestine of the butterfly and expelled after the butterfly emerges. Too much? Sorry!

Our Time is Coming

Our breakthrough is coming. Or should I say our breakout? But I think that there are a few things we all need to remember. It’s going to be a slow and delicate process. Things aren’t just going to go back to “normal” right away. So as we are sitting here, cocooned, it might be time to ask yourself how are you preparing yourself, your kids, your family, your friends, for life’s new normal?  And, maybe more importantly, what do you want your new normal to look like?

The caterpillar doesn’t go back to being or doing what a caterpillar did because that’s what it used to be. Once it emerges, it is something completely different. I think we’d be remiss to think that we shouldn’t be coming out of this different. What are you learning? How are you growing? What will you do with your wings once you can fly?