Waiting to Be In the Mood

I saw a funny bit of advice the other day. A wife was giving power tool advice to other wives, telling them “This isn’t about how to use power tools – this is about how to get your husband to do those things around the house he says he’ll get to but never does.” She proceeds to recommend that wives grab the biggest and loudest tool they can find, walk past their husbands on the way to the site of the needed task, and within moments the husband will be at their side taking the tool and getting the job done.

This made me laugh, mostly because it is true. There are a lot of things I tell Rosanna, “Oh yeah, I’ll get to that.” And then I never do. I’m never quite in the mood to do them, so I let the task fester. Thankfully she hasn’t grabbed any power tools and forced my hand.

But I find this can be true with so much. There are things that require our attention, but since they’re not an emergency, we don’t seem to give them the attention they need.

We’re just not “in the mood” to take care of what we need to or want to, so the thing festers and sputters, stuck in place until, one day, maybe, the mood strikes us.

Mood is a funny thing.

Just what does it mean to be “in the mood” to do something? Where does this “mood” come from? To what do we owe this sudden spurt of motivation?

I think we use the phrase “in the mood” as a way of explaining the degree to which we are emotionally inclined to do something. We might logically be able to say “I should do this or that,” but our mood in this context might be our actual feeling about completing a specific task.

Say, for example, eating a salad. We could logically rationalize eating a healthful bowl of veggies for lunch. But we might in the same breath say, “I’m not in the mood for eating like a rabbit right now. But I AM in the mood for this chocolate cake!”

Operating according to mood is like going with what we feel like doing, even if our mind is telling us otherwise. It’s especially convenient when our mood and our rationality align, but this isn’t guaranteed.

You see, if your logic is like a straight path leading you directly towards your destination, your emotions are like a stream, meandering this way and that, occasionally crossing the path and occasionally bringing you closer to where you want to go.

The whole point is this: if you’re waiting to be “in the mood” or to “have the mood strike you” to do something, you could be waiting a very, very long time. This is a passive approach to taking responsibility and getting things done. Your mood is not something you have control over – it’s just a feeling or inclination that comes upon you, or not.

What I’ve learned over the years is if I want to get something done, I just have to do it. I can’t wait for the mood to come upon me; I can’t recline on a couch wishing I felt like doing it. I just have to muscle up and dig in.

For example, I work out in our basement every morning. My secret is that I am NEVER in the mood to do this. There’s nothing in me that says, “Hey, I want to wake up early, lift heavy things and sweat through my shirt before 6:00 AM.” I envy the people who are in the mood for this. If I was waiting around to “feel like working out,” I would never get around to actually doing it. Instead, I just do it regardless of my mood because I know I want it done.

What I am in the mood for.

The problem is that we are all so strongly impacted by how we feel, that our mood gets in the way of us accomplishing what we want to. We might logically think abut some good things that we ought to get around to, but there’s that I-don’t-really-feel-up-to-this-right-now-maybe-later kind of mood that we allot an unnecessary degree of jurisdiction over our decision making.  

We take care of what we have to – like go to work, pay our bills, and fix things that we absolutely need to – but we find ourselves stuck in the middle on stuff that doesn’t require our immediate attention but we sort of want to get around to, one day, maybe.

Here’s my best attempt at a fix to overcome mood and do what I know I need to: I picture what I value and move towards that.

This is what I mean:

I’m in the mood for that feeling of freedom when I have those unwanted tasks finally crossed off. On my desk I work I have a note that lists the important tasks I’m never in the mood to do, then a remember on the bottom that says, “Just think about how good it will feel to have all of this done!”

The feeling of accomplishing something I didn’t have to do but chose to do. I don’t feel Iike exercising, and I don’t technically have to, but it feels great every day knowing that I did and I get to enjoy the results the more I stick with it.

The knowledge that even though I lacked the energy or enthusiasm I wish I had, I did something I know I wouldn’t regret later. My kids love to play with me, be it Monopoly, football, Nerf battles, or video games. I am often tired and preoccupied, but I know that were I to look back on things, I won’t regret a moment of spending quality time with them.

Ultimately I may not be in the mood to do another chore, take on another task, or go the extra mile for someone important to me. But my mood about it doesn’t matter. I realize that I’m ALWAYS in the mood for bigger things that require smaller, often unwanted tasks, along the way