Episode 8: Family Road Trip

Rosanna
Welcome to episode eight of the relentless pursuit podcast. This one is titled family road trip. This week, we’re gonna switch it up a little bit. We’ve had some Q&A formats and – Yeah, some fun interviews now. So now we’re gonna switch it up. And we wanted to give you guys an opportunity to get to know us a little bit better. For those of you who don’t know us. I know that we do have a lot of friends and family that are listening and watching these on YouTube. But we do have some people who don’t know us as well. So we thought what better way to get to know us is to maybe share about us a little bit about our story a little about who we are, and we thought maybe the best way to do that would be to capture it by retelling the story of our family road trip that we just took for the last two weeks.

Jordan
Yeah, we were I would say really fortunate to have some time set aside that we could go on a family road trip. Each year we like to take a little pilgrimage down to Texas. I have some family down in Texas that at least once a year, we like to load up the kids in the family van and swing down and say hello. But our trip morphed a little bit more this year. We’ve been at home for a long time now. And one of the things that we wanted to make sure that we took advantage of is summertime, and some of the time that we have available to try to do something a little bit different. And we were disappointed like many other families when we realized that the local pool, which we usually live at during the summer would be closed and many other favorite venues and favorite activities. And so we were trying to think how can we look back at the summer of 2020 and still have some some favorite memories and experiences that are going to be cherished by us. So we were looking at Our trip down to Texas to visit family. But we also received a very kind invitation from some friends of ours who live out in Colorado to spend a short time with them as well. And so I kind of started dreaming of this, you know, quasi-cross-country road trip, you know, the National Lampoon style where we would leave from here and spend a pretty significant amount of time on the road and away from home and with friends and with family, and doing and seeing some things that we don’t normally get to do all while still navigating a pandemic environment and trying to do it in a in a safe but a memorable kind of way. So I pitched it to Rosanna. Hey, I have a great idea. Let’s spend hours and hours on end in the family minivan with all the kids. And it didn’t take too much convincing, but there was definitely some logistics that needed to be laid down to make sure that it worked. So what ended up happening is was that we decided we would leave home, we would drive to Mount Rushmore and visit that and then spend some time after that, driving down and spending time in Colorado. And then from there we would we have several friends and family members in Colorado. We try to visit as many of them as we can, and then head down to Texas, spend some more time with my family there and then head home after that’s all said and done.

Rosanna
So all together it was it was – two full weeks, 14 days over 3300 miles in a Dodge Grand Caravan with our four kids, to which many people who we and we kind of made this decision maybe what seven days out from when we left. We just kind of were like well, okay, let’s let’s dig in. And so when people heard what we were doing, they thought we were a little crazy.

Jordan
It’s everyone’s first reaction like with all your kids, and you’re driving.

Rosanna
Yeah. So when he pitched the idea, he said it didn’t take much money. He often has big ideas, great ideas to some that are not so great. But I did he pitched this idea 14 days: South Dakota, Colorado, Texas, the kids the car the miles and I just kind of like – slow blink. Oh, okay. All right. And then I just said, why not like, what else do what else are we doing? What else do we have going on? And we’ve been fortunate to have that time in that space now. So it really was the perfect opportunity to gather our group and go, and one of the great things about being together for so long – we’ve just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary, and the launch date of our podcast, and knowing each other for almost 22 years – is that I trust him. And so trusting that we could do this and we could do it together is just it’s great.

Jordan
There are some logistics to make this happen. But really like it’s well within our reach. And there’s a convenient kind of division of labor. And after doing many things together over the years, a lot of it kind of falls into place as we assume responsibilities for different things to make it happen.

Rosanna
Yeah. And I think that’s the biggest thing about this trip is that he, you know, he came up with this idea. And then we kind of, we know each other’s strengths. So I know his strength is he’s going to navigate it, he’s going to get us there, he’s gonna have that all planned out. I couldn’t even tell you which direction east is from where I’m currently sitting. So like, that is not in my wheelhouse. That is not something I’m good at. And I trust him to take care of that. And he got us there flawlessly. And so but I also know that means that packing up six people for 14 days in multiple climates, was going to be a challenge. We had, you know, there’s six of us in the car so it’s not like we have extra room to stuff stuff because we have a lot of people.

Jordan
Rosanna likes this sort of challenge too. So it’s like alright, babe, here’s what we’re here’s the here’s the task. We’ve got six people actually X number of days you get two suitcases and like one duffel bag and a cooler and this yeah and this much space and she’s like okay, it sounds like would you compare it to like one of those reality TV shows.

Rosanna
Like survivor you know, it’s like alright what will we take? What will we leave? What are my luxury items like what can we fit? You know who has what at what house Can I borrow a blow dryer my taking it. My big thing is always shoes. Jordan travels in one pair of shoes I need like nine pairs to go. But we creatively made a plan for you know, getting all of these warm weather, hot weather, cold weather, layers, sunscreen, bug spray, and then that added layer of face coverings, gloves, toilet seat covers for public restrooms, masks, I mean, antibacterial, I mean, we were stocked and we planned and he trusted me to handle all of that. And so then even loading the car like I load it so I know where it is and I’m constantly shuffling and reshuffling clothes – the clean clothes, the dirty clothes.

Jordan
It’s my job to carry the suitcases out.

Rosanna
And it’s my job to kind of make sure everybody has what they need.

Jordan
But I like this too, because I don’t think I mean, we’re really not just talking about the road trip here. But this is is sort of a microcosm of a lot of the experiences and, and tasks and goals that we set for ourselves. So it’s like the other road trip of life. And what are some of the lessons from this particular experience that also pertained to, you know, some of the bigger things that we’re doing a more day to day basis as well?

Rosanna
Yeah, I mean, and for us, for our family to work. It’s always been that we need to be doing it together. We always have to be a team and what’s nice is we kind of know where each other’s strengths and weaknesses are. And so where one kind of falters the other one picks up.

Jordan
Yeah, and I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but like if so, like I handle all the driving and directions, but the moment you tried to give me directions for like something specific, it just like we ended up going the wrong way. Then I’m getting upset. Just pull over and look at the map anyway. Just because like the way we, we, the way you read that and the way you communicate that is just like just kind of off my chart of how I process that. And then same thing with any of the suitcases – like I went into one and I was looking for something for the kids, and you’re like, “It’s not in this one that’s that one, you know, you’re gonna mess this up,” but, and those kind of became like almost our strict domains. And if we interfered with the other person’s, it’s like, we were gonna mess it up. And sometimes, like, we got a system just trust the system. And let me let me handle this because this is my job. And you know that I think there were other smaller things like that, too. Like even just looking at the financial end of it. I’m like, looking at how many gas stops we’re going to need to make and how much cash should we have on hand and how much should we expect this to cost overall, is that even feasible? And then I know you had like other components, even even during the trip as well, that you’re just managed often without, you know, anyone’s knowledge of it and it just fit together.

Rosanna
But I think that’s what’s great about having a partner having a teammate in it is that you can complement each other, right? We were staying in the homes of other people. So even just taking a moment to you know, bring thank you cards with us and you know, writing a thank you card and placing it you know, it’s those little things that like I would think of that you might not or that you would think of and that I wouldn’t, like planning gas stops or rest stops like totally off, you know, my radar but you’ve got it covered.

Jordan
Downloading kids podcasts or silly songs to keep them somewhat entertained.

Rosanna
Just the different ways in which we were able to help our kids have a good experience and what roles we play in the creation of the family roadtrip were important.

Jordan
What’s next?

Rosanna
Alright, what’s next? Um, so let’s talk a little bit more about our trip. Well, I mean, so we left here. We left here bright early on a Sunday morning at like, just like before 6am.

Jordan
Yeah. And kids were all very excited. And I think they forget like one thing I’m reminded of is that they forget how bored and uncomfortable they are in the van for long periods of time, because they are and they’re not complaining the whole time. But by the time you get to the destination, they’ve forgotten all about being on the road. And so they look forward to the next time that they have a chance to like be on the roads. They really like kids tend to remember the and I think it’s true for all of us, they tend to remember the more positive things and the boring or even the negative I think just fades away.

Rosanna
Yeah, we left and what what’s their first exciting thing is that anytime we leave for a road trip, we stop and we get some Dunkin donut donuts and that’s like their breakfast in the car and like they look forward to that and then they’re looking forward to mom buys all of these snacks for the road trip that we don’t normally have. All about the snacks and we don’t have an entertainment center in our car. We don’t have DVD players or whatever. But we do pack an iPad and attach it to the back of a seat, but they have to ride I mean we really make them sweated out, what was it like eight hours or at least a day before we let them watch a movie? Yeah. And so we have,

Jordan
But they weren’t begging for one either. They were looking outside, they’re talking to each other. We were randomly starting roadtrip games, listening to goofy songs, taking naps. I mean, there’s so much to do! My favorite – my favorite was just how often they would be asking you for things and there’s four of them so wonderful. I’m would say I need a napkin and the other one needs to put something in the garbage bag and you’re just constantly like turning around from the passengers.

Rosanna
That was the first five hours of my truck consisted of me turning around I’m just driving around turning he’s you know, he’s got he’s got the helm. He’s driving, he doesn’t hear a thing. I need this. I need this. She touched me. Can we watch a movie? Is it time for another snap? It’s you know, it’s kind of like when you start summer vacation or when the kids were then home like all spring with school and you’re trying to like devise that like system in that plan. And this is how you do it or asking for permission to like, open the windows like all of these things that you really don’t want to deal with. But after the first five hours, they really settled in.

Jordan
Smooth cruise after that. But you know, as we went through the, just the the trip itself. And once we arrived at our destination in Colorado, we get to do some unique things that we are it’s really difficult to replicate in Illinois. And I mean, one of the greatest things I appreciated was that we had a chance to spend time outdoors and but outdoors in kinds of terrain and opportunities to see some things that are just really, really fun and and unique and beautiful. And we had gorgeous weather as well, which I was very grateful for. So it was it’s not like there was some huge event waiting for us at the destination. It was a chance to be with people that we loved, and to do some activities with them and within the location that are a little bit different, but enough to make some memories for that. And, you know, another big thing I noticed too, is that there was really…all of our screen time was drastically reduced – the kids, you know, ours, and we weren’t even really aware of it, because we were having a genuinely good time with one another and with the activities that we were doing. And that’s, that’s worth it. You know, I mean, I think sometimes when we’re in our routines, there’s maybe a reliance or even an over-reliance on screens for information and for work and for entertainment. And it’s not all negative, but it is pleasant to be able to hit the pause button and enjoy not staring at a screen but deriving genuine value from the people that you’re with the activities that you’re doing.

Rosanna
Right, you weren’t checking work email, I wasn’t checking work email. I wasn’t really posting to social media. Most of our drive we went from here to Mount Rushmore, and then Mount Rushmore so South Dakota through Wyoming to Colorado – I didn’t even have service. So I like I couldn’t just…

Jordan
It’s actually a little scary when you’re in middle of nowhere.

Rosanna
Really, there’s nothing. There’s like some tumbleweed. There’s like nothing. There’s just some cows. And you have no service to like, look, even look at a map. Yeah. But like not incessantly checking to see what other people were doing, or you know what was going on in the world. It was just nice.

Jordan
No need to feel productive.

Rosanna
Yeah, it was just nice to like, sit back and get away. And I think that’s something that we try and do every summer is we try and kind of flip the script, flip the schedule, like live outside of our routines, which we thrive on routines as a family, as individuals, but it’s a great time to kind of break that routine as a way to kind of like, dive into something more something unique, something better.

Jordan
Right. And I think we’ve talked about how important it is to value the ordinary. B it’s nice too. At the same time, get it get away from the ordinary and whether it’s big or small. Find a different kind of experience. And in many ways, I mean, at least for me, I know from some of the things that kids have said, like they, that’s whet their appetite for more. I mean, Colorado was gorgeous.

Rosanna
Oh my gosh, the mountains and the waterfalls and the hiking and the butterflies and even just like the animals that are there are different than the animals here and watching our kids, you know, pick wild flowers on a hike for four miles and throwing stones into like a rushing river.

Jordan
That was the big hit of the trip was throwing rocks into water.

Rosanna
Butn we have three boys. So I mean, that makes sense.

Jordan
So but I think some of that translates back to so now is our ordinary, does it have the chance to be disrupted or to modify based on some of the new things that we took time to have an appreciation for? Yeah, gotta go find some water and some rocks.

Rosanna
But I think the other part of being gone and staying with people that we knew, I mean, these are lifelong friends that we’ve had – they were in our wedding, we were in their wedding – they moved away. We haven’t seen them a lot, but even just being able to like reconnect several hours together several days allows for, you know, a new kind of relationship. It’s not that quick relationship where it’s like that quick exchange. It’s not like alright, catch me up on like, you know, everything that’s going on. I mean, we had time to just –

Jordan
We had a lot of time.

Rosanna
We had a lot of time, and you can talk about the things that matter and the things that are on your mind or, you know, tell me more about that. And I think that’s what’s nice by quieting some of the other things is, you know, even just pouring into people a little bit more and seeing where they’re at, good or bad.

Jordan
We’re very grateful for their just there they’re hosting and their – because I know we put things aside to be able to travel but and so they did as well.

Rosanna
And the other thing I thought was also interesting is, you know, spending time with other people in close proximity, like in their house, like what you learn from each other, or what you can observe by being with them. And so them saying, you know, saying things about the way our relationship is with our kids that they would notice that I don’t know that I guess I didn’t think people would pick up on but like even having that like said back to you is kind of like an eye-opening thing

Jordan
Yeah, that’s nice litter like outsider perspective on some of the more intimate nuances of your family that are helpful.

Rosanna
But even how I learned from them while I was there, like, you know, you kind of take it in you think, Wow, I’d like to be more like that. Like you don’t have that opportunity when you’re just in passing, passing or you’re going out for drinks or something like that.

Jordan
Or someone’s highlight reel on Facebook and Instagram.

Rosanna
You get a little bit more about their heart and you know where they’re headed. So I think that was really great, too.

Jordan
Yeah, yeah.

Rosanna
All right. So we had a beautiful time. We saw Mount Rushmore, we hiked. We swam in a lake we were we kayak, we paddle boarded. I mean, we did a lot of different things. Then we headed to Texas, and we got to do some other fun things with family. Our daughter got to go horseback riding and there was some pool time which we’re not going to really get here this time. Summer. You know, that’s our, that’s the highlight reel of our trip, right? If you check our Instagram feed, or even my personal one, like you see, like all of the great moments, but there were some not so great moments.

Jordan
And these tend to stand out a little bit more as well, ironically.

Rosanna
But they stand out like more later, like in the moment, like you’re not really, you know, trucking and you know, thinking that it’s anything important, but you know, they’re unpleasant at the time. And we were more than fortunate. We had no car trouble. We had no one, you know, was injured or there was nothing like that. We were able to stay healthy and safe the entire time. So that’s great. But, you know, we talked about like the first five hours of the road trip of the kids like getting them to settle down. It’s kind of it’s kind of like a circus. Yeah. And they’re, you know, there were like multiple long drives. So there were multiple instances of that our two year old is we were gone two weeks, I think he grew three inches. He popped four teeth, and his vocab doubled. So we were eight hours into a 15 hour drive and I get Mom, I’m done. And then he just starts crying. And I just looked at him and said, Yeah, I’m done too, but we got, you know, several more hours buddy!

Jordan
I had to reassure Rosanna as well as a two year old that there was still a lot ahead of us.

Rosanna
We just gotta buckle up, buckle down and keep going. But one of the things – where were we were we headed to South Dakota?

Jordan
I think we were in Minnesota at the time.

Rosanna
Okay, so we from Illinois, to Wisconsin over to Minnesota, making our way to South Dakota. And our daughter says to us, Mom, I don’t feel so good. And so you know, when they’re little you don’t really know what that means. So I said like, like, your tummy doesn’t feel good. Yeah. Okay, like you got to go potty or like, you’re gonna puke. I think I’m gonna puke. Okay, we’re not even in the first leg of our trip. Someone’s gonna puke. I of course, had you know all of our things in the car. Paper towels out, you know, garbage bags, and like hurrying up opening a garbage bag, put it over her face, and she’s just so I’m turned around in the front seat. He’s on the expressway or the highway, whatever you call it – I’m holding a garbage bag open and she’s just like looking straight at me like, she’s gonna vomit, like, you know, into the bag, like, not into the bag into my face instead of in the bag. And all I could say was, don’t look, I mean, don’t put your head down puke into the bag. Just don’t puke on me!

Jordan
Poor thing she started throwing up right there in the van. And so I’m driving it’s almost as though she’s in my ear and all I hear is her breathing and puking into the bag. And I hear you saying like, look down, don’t look at me look down. And then she’s muttering to me like, can’t we get off the highway? Like, there’s nowhere to pull over right here. So like, sure enough, I finally we get to an exit and I pull over at the first parking lot that’s there. And of course, it’s a strip club, pulling over and and so she like finishes throwing up like in the parking lot of this strip club and –

Rosanna
all into the into the garbage into the bag. Yeah, it was brilliant.

Jordan
All into the bag, a clean experience. And that was the first of a few instances where Unfortunately, she got a little carsick but she rallied really well and we were proud of her. There’s another instance too in Colorado, where the state thing happened. And we’re going through all these mountain passes and weaving up and down. And I remember we had pulled over at some point as well. And as she’s having this unpleasant experience, I’m looking around, I’m like, this is a really gorgeous spot to stop and throw up at you know. Actually, I didn’t tell you this. I don’t think I told you this. But I was, I wanted to prepare a bingo card for our road trip, like a parent bingo card for all the things that could happen on a road trip. And one of the squares that you have the option of putting was going to be the kid throwing up in the car. And that was then there are other squares to with things that had happened, but that that struck me and I regretted the moment that you know, after she was done throwing off that I hadn’t actually finished preparing that bingo card for us to play because after we check it out, I would have checked that box. But that was that’s gonna be something that stands out and we – even she can laugh at you right now as well, because it’s a peculiar kind of incident that stands out and we never really thought about it or prepared for it or anticipated it, but it happened and we have this funny little story that we’ll probably retell on many other future road trips, too.

Rosanna
I mean, there’s a couple others too, like we’ve hiked four miles out up the side of a mountain in Colorado and one of the kids has to poop. Well, what are you gonna do? You know, perfectly well, so outhouse. Yeah, guys, there’s no bathrooms here. So we’re going to have to do it outside and you know, just that that realization and that that like fumbling of you know, you start to sweat a little bit and you’re like, Okay, how are we going to manage this? You know, there’s, you know, or you change a poopy diaper on the hike, and then you got to carry it with you all the way back, you know, so that, you know, there’s you’re traveling during a pandemic, so just you know, how do you get out and you know, manage a rest up and how do you keep your kids safe and like, although there are all of these things that could have kept us home and could have kept us back or could have had us you know, upset throwing your hands up here, you know, throwing in the towel. We have to expect those things. I mean, especially with kids, too, but like, we can’t let those things derail all of the great things and the amazing experience that they’re going to have from the summer. Yeah. And I think that’s, that’s really what’s important.

Jordan
And one of our questions that we asked, you know, before we try something big or small is like, what’s the worst that can happen? And now there’s some pretty like worse things that could happen, you could get in an accident, you could run out of gas in the middle of nowhere. And there’s a lot of middle of nowhere where we were at. And you know, there’s there’s other dangers and I think part of it is anticipating those and planning as best as you can for contingencies that may arise, but not letting those those fears or those doubts or those unknowns overshadow the positive potential in the opportunity that’s there.

Rosanna
And I think that’s what’s great about you is you’re always looking for that positive potential. And okay, yeah, things could go wrong, but we also live in an age where usually those things can be rectified pretty quickly. Right? So I mean, all in all, it was a really great trip. And I think one thing that is not in our outline or notes or something we discussed was, you know, 14 days, all six of us together with, you know, no real separate distinction from our kids during that time. I think, you know, that could be a lot.

Jordan
You mean like us separate…

Rosanna
Separate from our kids like we were in the car together. We went how many hotel rooms? Two hotel rooms. So in two of those situations, I was sleeping in the bed with one kid you were sleeping in the bed with another

Jordan
Two year olds sleep great when you share a bed with them – we recommend it to everybody.

Rosanna
And in one of the places we stayed the pack and play in our room, so just really not being able to like have any distance from our kids, which is obviously not the end of the world or a bad thing but you know, loving each other through that and like finding ways to to just be one-on-one or have a conversation without being interrupted, or you know having some time away to think or plan or work. I think my favorite thing was when I got in the car for the road trip, there was a Ziploc bag that Jordan had has, how many questions were there?

Jordan
I think there were 50 questions.

Rosanna
50 questions that he had typed up, cut up into little strips, they were folded. They were in this Ziploc bag as ways to like, discuss and answer questions and

Jordan
Icebreaker questions – some were deep some weere silly. Some I actually color-coded for I call it nap time only questions, and we actually didn’t pull any of those because none of the kids ever we didn’t we do. Yeah. All the kids never slept at once for us to have what I would consider to be a pretty exciting conversation from one of one of those questions. But yeah, I wanted to, I figured a lot of time that you and I would just be sitting next to each other in the car, and I didn’t want that opportunity to pass without and we could just talk but instead to have some kind of some goofy things to at least get interesting thoughts interesting conversation started.

Rosanna
And I just thought that was so great like how you thought of me before the trip because you didn’t tell me that you were doing that I had no idea. And then so when there was a lull and the kids were quiet, or there was a movie on or they all like, randomly passed out, or some of them passed out and someone was reading, we would just pull one from the bag. And some of them were, like, hard and, like really thoughtful, and some of them were silly, and I was just like, you know, it just is a very small way to show that you care. And that like our time together is important too. And even though it’s not us on a beach in Mexico, which I dream about all the time, and that I you know, ask for every three to four weeks, when’s the next time you think we can you know, vacation alone together. It means a lot. And so I thought, I thought that was really great.

Jordan
Oh, we got to make the most of those times and those opportunities. So like we said, this is really not meant to just summarize a fun family road trip, but it’s meant to be be thinking of some of those experience as a bit of a microcosm or an analogy for what I say – it’s kind of lame – but like “the road trip of life,” and both the travel and the destination into the activities into the people and the values along the way. And so when we’re kind of living out life, I feel like in some ways we are in a vehicle together. And it’s up to us to develop that teamwork to find the activities and the memories to find even the inconvenient things that are truly the memory makers and the things that we end up laughing about and enjoying later on and, and make the stories that we retell, you know, chance to connect and get away from screens get away from work, and I think that there’s a great opportunity to do that within a 14-day roadtrip period. But a lot of that translates into how we try to facilitate just the day to day life. And the long term journey that we’re all on.

Rosanna
Yeah, and I, you know, I think it was just a breath of fresh air for all of us because even coming home, I just feel like things are a little bit different. I feel like the kids, we were all home together before this for a while, but the kids seem to have clicked in a new way. And you know, they’re a little bit older, and they’re a little bit different than we left. And there is something that was so special about it that I’m, I’m so glad that we did it.

Jordan
Yeah, I think it makes you appreciate what you come home to more. And also, you know, you’re you’re, you’re changed by a new experience. And I feel that that I’m looking forward to more new experiences ahead as well.

Rosanna
Yeah. So thank you for listening to our story. I know it’s, you know, nothing super riveting are off the charts. But I think, you know, talking about tackling life as a team, you know, expecting the unexpected, preparing the best that you can, and embracing the here and now are all things that we need to continue to do to be successful.

Jordan
Absolutely. So you can check out and learn a little bit. More about this show from our show notes, you can find those at therelentlesspursuitpodcast.com. And you could also tell us about any of your favorite road trip or vacation experiences that you may have had as an adult or maybe even as a kid. We’d love to hear about those. You can check out these episodes, as well as bonus content on YouTube. And we’d love to hear any feedback or any reviews that you may have as well. If you haven’t yet, please leave us a five star rating and we’re looking forward to sharing the rest of our Season One episodes with you in the near future. But thanks for listening everybody. Goodbye.