Episode 1: These Are the Days

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Jordan
Welcome to our very first relentless pursuit podcast episode. We’re really excited about what we have to bring to you through this podcast. And we’re excited to have some conversations with each other and share those with you guys. So…

Rosanna
a little excited, a lot scared. So bear with us as we kind of work through this in the format and what we’re recording. We’re at home alone without our kids for the first time in 10 weeks of quarantine, and we’re trying to get this done in our home so it’s a little bit more organic and kind of just reflects who we are and what we stand for. But usually it’s a whole lot louder around here.

Jordan
Yeah. So we’re having some fun with this right now. For today’s format for the episode as well as many others down the road, Rosanna and I have a topic that we discussed the topic in advance. But then we have is our own set of questions that we are going to be asking one another to try to kind of tease out some of our best insights about that topic and hopefully have some takeaways that we can apply ourselves and strengthen our relationship and strengthen our whole approach to life here. So I hope you didn’t peek at my questions beforehand, I know, I had them out.

Rosanna
I did not peek at your questions. I nearly moved the furniture.

Jordan
I want to have some of the same questions. That would say a lot. So this week, we’re talking about a phrase that’s been very near and dear to us over the past few years. That phrase is these are the days and we say this to one another as a way of sort of grounding us in the present, and sometimes even in our most frustrating moments we might yell to one another, “These are the days.”

Rosanna
And that happened this morning. Believe it or not, I had just finished a workout. Kids were in the kitchen buzzing around. He was upstairs trying to work and to not totally lose my mind, I literally shouted,

“Babe, these are the days!” And he came running down because he thought something was wrong because he didn’t hear exactly what I said. He just heard someone else, babe. And it was like that reminder, like, we’re in it. These are the days.

Jordan
So we’ve used that phrase quite a bit. And it has helped us remember that, at least after this time of life, whatever the challenges and frustrations are that we’re going to look back on it and probably, hopefully, say another that these were the days.

Rosanna
So there’s, he said that this was very near and dear to our hearts. And so much so that there is a framed print in our kitchen. It’s on the wall that I walk by at least 30 times a day. And it says these are the days and it was a gift from Jordan and two of my closest friends after they threw me like a 37th birthday celebration this past November. And the celebration kind of followed that theme,

Jordan
Big milestone – 37.

Rosanna
37 big milestone that that moment you realize, oh boy, 40 is around the corner. But my husband who is I think morally opposed to themed events actually had a theme for my party. And it was, these are the days so he invited six other couples that we knew to the house for dinner party in honor of my birthday with the purpose of celebrating me but also with sharing from their life, their experiences, their backgrounds, what, what it means to kind of cherish the time that I have now and how I can best like utilize who I am and my gifts to like to really like, dive in. And like there was ever a point to like, stand and applaud my husband, it was like this moment that he invited all of these different people and for most of them, their only connection was me. Most of them didn’t know each other or you know weren’t good. And we connected a lot of people, but it was all about them being able to give me advice on how we can cherish these times. And so I think it was brilliant because we are so busy living our lives. we’re so busy raising our kids, digging into our career, starting careers, changing careers, you know, volunteering, and then sometimes we get lost, we get lost in the hustle from one thing to the next, the laundry, the groceries, baseball, soccer, sports that we make the mistake of missing what these days really are. And for me, I feel like these are the days I wished for at one point in my earlier life, like you wish to find the man of your dreams and spend your life with him. Check. You want kids right? You want it you want a whole gaggle of them. We have four so you know, check, check, check, check, check. You know, the minivan all of the things, and then you have them and you’re in it and you’re like,

Jordan
Minivan, really?

Rosanna
I mean, maybe minivan wasn’t on my list, but it’s probably not out Right, not on everybody’s list either. But you know, a career, a husband, a house, kids, you know all of it, and then you get it. And then you’re kind of like knee deep in the trenches, and the kids are crying, and this one needs help with this. And, and work is hard, and families get complicated. And then we kind of miss living in those moments. So…

Jordan
You know, it makes me think of remember that time we went to one of the restaurants over here, and there was that old couple, and they’re like, Oh, we had four kids, too, these are really special times. And that’s at the same time, they were like flinging food at each other and one of them was running off and it’s a little like fun, but frustrating at that moment, but they I mean, I think they embodied that kind of concept. Like those really were like charming days that they look back fondly on.

Rosanna
And and i think that’s that’s part of what this topic is about today is that sometimes it’s not until we’re you know, hindsight is 2020. So it’s not until we’re out of those days that when we look back, we finally remember like what those days really were about instead of getting caught up in So particular of the logistics of the day.

Jordan
So one quote that came to my mind when I was kind of thinking through this and I’ve thought about this before, too, is I’m gonna paraphrase John Lennon, but he said, one of his songs life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. And I feel like that is true. And that can be a trap at times because that we spent so much time setting goals and aspiring towards those things and always looking towards the future. You don’t realize that life is what’s happening moment by moment by moment and it’s good to be thinking about the future make plans, but are we really like focused on what we have at the moment as well too, because chances are pretty good that we’re gonna miss many of those moments when they’re past us.

Rosanna
We’re gonna miss those moments when they’re past us. Because sometimes living in those moments is hard. There’s so many there’s so many good things. Right it, today is May 13 2020. So if you’re like us, which I think everybody is like us, you’ve been at home in quarantine for nine weeks now. Right? Kids have been home elearning these are the days guys like, these are them right now. And we’re all there. So it’s, you know, how do you how do you dig in, even when you don’t want to?

Jordan
So I’ve heard a, quarantine aside, I’ve heard that there are folks were certain times of life like things kind of pick up. And I feel like we’re at that point where our family life has definitely picked up where we’ve got, you know, four young kids, and they all you know, just parenting requires like time and dedication, on top of career picking up as well. And you know, we’re kind of at the prime in terms of health and skills and there’s just a lot of busyness that takes place where it’s difficult to feel like you’re really being committed to doing any one of those things very well. And I think we each have to like some of those different times of life so it is difficult to like to pause and to appreciate. And I almost feel like remember like when George Costanza on Seinfeld would say “Serenity now!”, or I don’t know if it was his dad or whoever that was, would scream that to try to add a sense of calm to the moment. I feel like sometimes this phrase can be that for us, too. “These are the days,” trying to reassure ourselves like, hey, there’s some good in this if we can at least change our perspective on it a little bit. Well, the stresses are frustrations.

Rosanna
Yeah. And the name. So the name of our podcast is relentless pursuit. I think Jordan and I just the kind of people that we have always been, we’ve always like to take on new things. So you know, we both have jobs, that we have other passions and goals and projects that we want to pursue. And I’m guilty of this in a good way. And so Jordan, and I usually tell him like you can do anything. You can’t just do all the things all the time. But like the whole point of relentless pursuit Is that him and I are constantly pursuing one another That our marriage is something that’s important to us that we put time and effort into, that we’re, you know, even pursuing relationships with our kids with our friends. We’re working on building things, trying different things, taking chances. And so sometimes, you know, when you think of these are the days it’s, you know, you want to utilize all of those like skills and all of those passions, like now is the time to do that. Now is not the time to slow down. Now is the time to pour into all of the things that you want to try. But it’s also that balance of like finding the appreciation for all of those things, and being cognizant that they, they all are important and they all can fit.

Jordan
Alright, so I have some questions here. Do you want to go first?

Rosanna
No, go ahead. Go ahead.

Jordan
All right. I gotta pick a good one. I’m sure I think you answered one already. Okay. Well, we’ll skip that one. All right. So here’s maybe the biggest question so we tell ourselves, these are the days because we sense that there is something to appreciate about this moment. And once it’s gone, we’ll look back fondly on it. But what do you think the biggest obstacles are to appreciating those moments while we’re in them?

Rosanna
I think sometimes maybe for us, the obstacles are our needs and our wants and our level of productivity, where we’re where we want to accomplish. We have certain goals, like whether it’s in real estate or in, like personal business that we want to achieve. So we’re constantly working towards those. But although that’s one domain in our life, another domain in our life is our family and our kids. And so sometimes those two things are at odds that our kids need us want us right the we’re at the stage where our kids still love us, and want want to play with us and want to spend time with us. And even sometimes when we kind of put a restriction where Mommy needs to work now and then after we can do this or dad has this to take care of then we can play when those things are at odds I think sometimes that’s when we we don’t cherish those moments and that’s when these days seem harder than they are. It’s because what we want and what we have are at odds.

Jordan
And also say when things don’t go according to plan to, because then I feel more frustrated by the day rather than feeling like I nailed it. Like I would love to be a great you know, fill in the blank, I get whatever I’m working on, or dedicating time towards any particular day. But once any one of those is thrown off, then I feel like maybe the day wasn’t solid should have been. And I just want to get past this day get on to the next one. This isn’t the day.

Rosanna
Well, yeah, I mean, that happens. I think that stems into one of the questions that I had written down and it was how can we cherish these days? And I think I’m gonna answer it because I was thinking a lot about this. Like, how do we cherish these days and then next to it, I put the ordinary I think sometimes in order for us to feel successful, or in order for us to feel like our kids are going to remember these days, it’s that we had to do something big or special or unique. But I think it’s more about, like cherishing what what there is even under certain constraints, whether it’s financial or time, right? Like, what is what is the mindset? What is the feeling? What are we embracing instead of wishing we had or hadn’t done, but just embracing what is what is in the now.

Jordan
So that kind of ties into one of my questions too, for you, which was what do you think you’ll miss most about these days? And so what I’m hearing you say is that you’ll miss the ordinary. But so you wouldn’t necessarily recommend like to make the most of these days. So you need to do something big. So it’s not it’s not about a big trip. It’s not about a big event or a big milestone. It’s more about what felt like what is what are the ordinary things.

Rosanna
How we make each other feel, how do we show each other love and how we show up? I think those are three you know, three great ways. You know, going to Disney isn’t bad, right? Having a big birthday party at you know, some laser zone isn’t those things aren’t bad things. But if you strip those things away, what still remains?

Jordan
I think of when I’m awake in the morning. Usually I’m awake before the kids are most of them – I try, darn it – but like when they come downstairs and actually like come up and just give me like a hug or sit on my lap like to me that’s that’s an ordinary kind of thing that is special that I want to try to hold on to because that’s not always gonna be there.

Rosanna
Well, an ordinary too. And I know I’ve had this conversation with my mom before with other moms with people I know that your kids, you know, your, your kids will…they’re here now and they’re safe. You can protect them now. You can be there for them now, but at some point, they will leave they will grow up. They need you a little bit less or they need you in different ways and it’s not the same. And even though it’s taxing now in terms of how much like time and effort and reassurance and guidance and reprimanding they need now that kind of maybe tires us out, those are the important things.

Jordan
Yeah. And maybe that’s good to pay attention to more for us too. And we’ll get into some takeaways I know, but I’m already thinking about, like, what are some of those, those everyday kinds of things and I’m thinking, particularly with family that I may miss later on. Dinnertime is another one that comes to mind that is very ordinary, just to sit around the table and talk or, you know, tell them to stop singing or dancing at the table, playing with food or whatever they do. But those will be even I think, sometimes like frustrating moments that we may miss.

Rosanna
Agree, I think that’s a lot about how you structure your family or your time or whatever it is, you know, every family is different. And there are certain families that do things a certain way or traditions, and that’s what works for them. But those are the things that the kids really like embrace, right? When we do Thanksgiving breakfast with friends, you know, they hold on to that those are the things that they remember. And it’s nothing outlandish or crazy or uber-creative. But I, you know, those are the things that, that we appreciate to that they look forward to. And then we look forward to together and that’s what makes the days.

Jordan
I think traditions especially have a way of kind of, like almost teaching, reinforcing who you are like this is this is what we do. And usually they’re not on like an annual basis. This is something that we’ve we’ve gathered around and defined ourselves by.

Rosanna
Yeah, well yeah, the way you define yourself as a family, you know, the things that we have that Catapano is don’t quit or you know, enter your family’s name and their motto here, you know, those things that we continue to reinforce and then that we live out in every day of our life. So whether it’s we’re riding bikes, and we fall down, or we’re riding bikes, and we’re passing our six mile mark, and the kids want to give up and we you know, can you need to push them it’s, it’s those little things that make these days.

Jordan
Okay, so let’s say I’m in the moment, I’m in the day. And I have a flash of recognition that this is great. I’m gonna miss this I love this moment, whatever it is, how how do I capture that?

Rosanna
Take out your phone real quick before someone starts crying or complaining or bleeding.

Jordan
Maybe that is the moment. I think like photos definitely play a big role and very convenient to take those pictures too, but I almost wonder is it is the very fleetingness of those moments what makes them special? You appreciate it because you know, you can’t always have it.

Rosanna
It’s like, you know, taking a trip going on vacation, right? Like when you’re somewhere and you’re taking it all in whether you’re walking on the beach, right? It becomes special or it becomes something you look back with fondness because it’s, you know, kind of just this one little piece that you’re going to take with you that you can’t always have. But you look back on. So yeah, I mean, if you think about like memory.

Jordan
So I try to do with my, and I know you don’t want me to call it a diary – my log, my journal. I tried to record even if I mean, especially now it feels like Groundhog Day where like so many of the days are the same, but try to record some of the uniqueness of it before it disappears into the, into the blur of the past. And we don’t remember the little things that made it special.

Rosanna
And I think that’s true because so many days are similar. Now we wake up and we work at home and we work out at home and we teach the kids at home but even before that when we left for work and came home and you know had things to go to on certain nights or certain days, like when you look back, it’s kind of a blur, where there’s like seasons of life where it’s like you do a certain thing a certain way for a while. So what are those things that stand out? Or how do you make them stand out? And I think that’s you one of the questions that I have was how do we cultivate a life that creates our best days now?

Jordan
We actually want to say that those were the days.

Rosanna
Instead of saying those were the days, 10 years from now, when our kids are like driving and out with boyfriends and girlfriends, or whatever, and we look back and say, ah, do you remember when we were 37? And our kids were little? Gosh, those were the days like, how do we wake up tomorrow and say, Man,

Jordan
so every day, you can say, “These are ALL the days.”

Rosanna
These are the days, like THESE are the days? You know, like with a sense of like pride and ownership. Because I think, you know, I’d mentioned earlier hindsight is 2020, right? When we look back now, when we were first married, right? Like, Oh, do you remember when we were first married and the house was quiet and like, you know, you like reminisce and you’re like, Oh, my gosh, and we totally squandered it because we should have done X, Y, and Z. Or, you know, the kids are finally in bed after a long day. And we’re like, Can you imagine? 20 years from now when all the kids are out of the house, and all the traveling…We like we like to either rewind, and we like to fast forward and we like to pretend like we’re not where we are right now. Like, we want to get out of it, we’re so quick to want to rewind or fast forward or it’s like, we should be wanting to press pause on what’s now. Right. And that’s, I was thinking about that yesterday in preparation for today, you know, what is what is good about being in your 30s and we’re in our late 30s now, but like, I feel like you and I like in terms of who we are and what we want, we have definitely hit a stride. And there’s definitely things that we’re working on and that we’re proud of, but like you know, like how are we harnessing like our time and our energy in our effort to like, you know, telling our friends that we’re excited about the now we’re not looking to fast forward or rewind like like this is that like, jump on board like come follow us like this is, this is the time

Jordan
Is that easy to do? So I feel like a lot of the time when we just kind of the way we talked to one another sometimes we talked about how busy or stressed we are how there’s kind of certain challenges. Or I know like when I talk to some people, there’s sometimes this, this tendency to gravitate towards the negative. And it’s sometimes can feel like a challenge to say like, things are great, or here’s what we’re working on that excites us. And it’s more than maybe like a home improvement or an upcoming trip. It’s something that we are doing or even like, going back to the ordinary, like, Is it okay to be excited about the ordinary and how do we celebrate that with other people who are surrounding us?

Rosanna
Yeah, I mean, I think we live almost in a society in a culture where it’s like this, this there’s this like commiseration pool that everybody likes to like everyone likes to like, tell you how busy they are and how tired they are like as if the person next to you is also not busy and also not tired. We’re all busy. We’re all tired. We all have kids. They’re all driving us nuts. Like that’s the reality of it. Right? But we all love our families. Hopefully we all love our spouses. Right. But I think that’s, you know, what’s unique sometimes is that you talk to people and because they’re of the mindset that you know everything, is…

Jordan
I don’t think that’s their mindset, just like it’s just an easier way to share experiences. At times, I’m not saying it’s universal.

Rosanna
No, no, but I think sometimes that makes it harder to be like, yeah, this is what’s exciting right now, like, you know, I think it’s because we don’t want to toot our own horn, or we don’t want to seem like we’re bragging or that like, whatever. But like, someone will pull up in a new car and like, everyone’s excited about it. But like, why aren’t we excited when someone is trying to start their own business or when someone’s trying to write their own book or, you know, like, people, maybe it’s because people are afraid of failure. And so being vulnerable and sharing those things, you know, is hard, but cheering one another on and talking about what’s good or what we’re working towards. A domain that we’re really nailing like is a great way to like live our best days though.

Jordan
Yeah, enjoy that with one another and then with with everyone else that we have a chance to interact with. So I feel my mind keeps going back to just the just the appreciation like it’s almost a mindset. I heard someone walk through at some point a way away to feel more appreciative even in frustrated or annoying settings, and they said, “picture like the worst dinner that you’ve had and the kids are being ignorant or disrespectful and the meal tastes like garbage. And if you died the next day, how much would you pay to go back to that moment,?” and all of a sudden, that changed that changed my perspective, just hearing that description to think I would give anything and everything just to go back to even an annoying or a frustrating moment. If it’s with people I love in a setting that kind of like you said, indicates like this, this, this ordinary this, this moment of life that in the moment may be difficult to appreciate, but afterwards like we miss and we cherish so much.

Rosanna
I’ve heard someone explain that same thing as like, in our ordinary moments, we’re looking for something extraordinary. And it doesn’t have to be like crazy, but like when work is busy for me, and then I’m like missing weekends with the kids because of weddings and events and, and gearing up for them and I feel tired. Like I’m wishing for an ordinary day at home where I don’t have to go anywhere, right? Like I wake up on Monday morning and I’m in my sweats all day and I probably haven’t showered like you’re wishing for one of those days where you don’t have to, like put makeup on and get dressed and like be on at work. But then the same thing to is now that like I’ve had no events and I like not that I serve no purpose but like my my business is at a standstill and there’s nothing I can really do about it right like I’m longing for being an event planner or a day of coordinator just to like do something that excites me and is fun and is new and is challenging. So it’s, you know, the grass is always greener.

Jordan
Yeah. So it’s like a balance between sort of appreciating what you have whatever that may be in a moment. And still, like kind of aspiring towards pursuing the different kinds of things that you’re interested in building too as well.

Rosanna
A little bit of both. Any more questions on your list?

Jordan
I had a bunch and then we kind of answered them throughout our conversation. So nice job.

Rosanna
Well, not to toot our own horns right? There we go. So that kind of leaves us with maybe advice or takeaways, and of course, nothing that we talked about was like earth shattering right or groundbreaking. You’re probably not going to listen to this and think “Oh wow…”

Jordan
“That changes everything!”

Rosanna
Like, oh, game changer. But I think these are all things that we addressed while we were talking but these might be things to like, you know, jot down if you are jotting something down or in the note section of your phone, you know, we’re talking about These are the days. So my first takeaway, which is it’s really funny, the takeaway is that these are the days these ones, these ones right here at home with our kids and quarantine, these ones right now or my business…

Jordan
That would be out there would be in bold…

Rosanna
THESE are the days. And so if we look at that statement, and these is in all caps are in all bold, and these are the days, what are we doing to make these days count? What are we doing to make them matter? Like, how are we harnessing the best of who we are in each of these days?

Jordan
I don’t want to be thinking like I have to wait for these days to be over to get to the point that I want to be at.

Rosanna
I think that’s so great. I think that a lot of people’s mentality is like their life is on pause right now. And like they’ve put a lot of things aside and then they’re waiting for this like Start button. But if we’re not living in these days now, and like preparing and working and pushing like once we restart, we’re going to be very behind. I think the second thing that I came up with was to relish the simple things. So dinners together as a family. We like to walk. Take bike rides with the kids like just being outside in the fresh air, being able to move our bodies having bodies that move. Being healthy, right? There are people who are not healthy. So just those simple things where, you know, our kids have very loud lungs, right? They can talk and they can, you know, it’s like, the things that are annoying in the moment. But like, those are those simple things that their voices will be gone from this house someday. And so like, trying to appreciate those things. Now. The third thing would be being grateful for what you have. I know a lot of people have started gratitude journals, writing down three things a day that they’re thankful for, if you was it, our second blog post that I posted was all about, it just talked about taking some time to be thankful for what you have, so you can go back to that blog post. If you subscribe to us. You got a guide on a daily gratitude chart that you can fill out but be grateful for what you have. I know about a year ago, we moved into this house, and it was something that we’ve been dreaming and planning for a while. And every day since we’ve woken up every day in this house, either you or I have said to each other. “Gosh, we love this house, we’re grateful for being here.” And that like changes everything about your mindset in the day when you’re starting with something that you’re thankful for. And I think the last thing is to live in the present. Stop rewinding and going back to what it was like when you know you had more time more energy more money, whatever, or fast forwarding to wanting to skip what’s now and move ahead to something else.

Jordan
It’s good to like look fondly back at the past and it’s good to look towards the future for reasons as well. But we can’t

Rosanna
You can’t, you can’t live in in those areas like you’re not going to go back and relive it, you’re never going to be in that same circumstance again. And same thing about the future you’re you’re not sure where you’re going to end up. So like this is that like right now like dive, dive all in. These are the days. For as hard and as uncertain… THESE are the days. These ARE the days. These are THE days.

Jordan
These are the DAYS.

Rosanna
These are them guys, right? Job or no job, in your house in quarantine safe at home, or, you know, on the front lines like these are them. So what are we doing? How are we harnessing who we are the best things we have to offer and putting those in each of the domains of our life?

Jordan
I definitely enjoyed talking about this and talking through it because it just even just the process of talking raises my consciousness and my awareness of it. So looking forward to more conversations to come. That wraps it up for our first podcast conversation. We’ve got more to come down the line as well. We mentioned our website. If you haven’t visited yet, check out www.therelentlesspursuitpodcast.com and you’ll have a chance to subscribe and you’ll have a chance to read some of the things that we’ve been posting leading up to this podcast being aired. Also, we would appreciate if you get an opportunity to leave us a five-star rating and a glowing review. Tell your friends if you loved us, and if you didn’t enjoy it, tell your enemies.

Rosanna
Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you for tuning in. You know, this is something that we decided we were going to do. Back in January, we sat in a Starbucks and kind of dreamed this up. So to be able to do this is exciting, fun petrifying, but all we’re looking to do is to have great conversations, challenging each other and challenging you guys to be the best that we can be to live the best life and to continuously pursue all of the things that we want. So thanks, thanks for listening.